Still thinking about Uman
They say that everything goes after the beginning (הכל הולך אחר הראש), so even though most people are preoccupied with Yom Kippur thoughts today, my mind is still by the Rebbe.
When I was growing up I found that the more cynical and sarcastic I would be, the more people would like me. I was daring and witty so I ended up getting all the laughs.
For some reason, after my first Rosh Hashana in Uman, the first thing I started working on was minimizing my cynicism. I prayed for help to adjust my personality a bit and find more hope in life and in people.
After this epic Rosh Hashana, I realized that even for the biggest naysayers, cynicism is absolutely absent in Uman. Rebbe Nachman was so hopeful! Belief was so real to him that in his presence, it’s so hard to see things in a negative light.
That light of hope is so healing that we feel so safe to share and be vulnerable in his presence. It’s almost as if everything is ok, no matter what, and we want to test the waters to see if EVEN WE, with all our mess ups, are acceptable and loveable.
Of course, it goes without saying, that this is how Hashem sees us. (The Tzaddikim see with Hashem’s eyes). His eyes only see good. כי מדי דברי בו זכור אזכרנו. Only good, only loving.
Please God we should see ourselves, our loved ones and everyone in this light. End the cynicism and live a life of hope. The real life. The good life.
גמר חתימה טובה מאד מאד!